Pastors and other church staff have a plethora of stories to tell about weddings they have officiated. Unfortunately, they are often constrained from telling the stories lest their church members become offended.
For that reason, I gather the stories from the pastors on social media and become their spokesperson. For the most part, these stories are repeated only with minor changes. The essence of the stories is unchanged.
There were so many great submissions. I probably need a part two.
1. During the vows, the bride said no.
2. An 18-year old young lady came in with her fiancé to see the pastor, who was 38 years old. The pastor said lightheartedly that this wedding was the first where he could actually be the father of the bride. The 18-year-old lit up and chirped, "Cool! You knew my mom?" Her fiancé had to explain to her what the pastor meant. She cried.
3. The bride and her father fought with light sabers coming down the aisle to music from Star Wars. Neither the pastor nor the groom knew what was happening.
4. The uncle of the bride sent a request in since he could not attend. He asked someone to read 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love; instead perfect love drives out fear." Unfortunately, the reader quoted John 4:18 at the wedding: "For you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband."
5. The air conditioning was not working well for this summer wedding in the church; so all the windows were open. As the soloist was singing with a booming operatic voice, a fly went in her mouth. The song ended.
Exclusive Op-eds from the Presidential Campaigns
6. The bride fainted during the wedding. Four times.
7. The pastor did an outdoor wedding with several people in attendance who weren't wearing shirts (the pastor did not specify the gender of these people). The bride had a cigarette the entire service.
8. Guy in the sound booth started the wrong music during a wedding. Everyone got to hear "The Lady is a Tramp."
9. A couple requested the pastor to do a beach wedding. But they first wanted to see his bare feet to make sure they would look acceptable for the wedding.
10. The groom's ex-wife stood in the back of the sanctuary yelling "not" as the pastor read 1 Corinthians 13.
11. Pastor was officiating a wedding on the bay when a man comes up in a paddleboat and says, "Don't do it." The bride responds by yelling expletives at him.
12. At another outdoor wedding, the bride and groom were joined in the front by a goat as the vows began.
13. This outdoor wedding had a stray dog as a guest. He kept bringing a tennis ball to the pastor and putting it at his feet.
14. A pastor was asked to officiate a wedding by talking through an animatronic deer head.
15. During the wedding service, a guest's phone loudly declares, "You have reached your destination."
Thank you, pastors and staff, for these hilarious submissions. Come back to the blog next week when I will share stories about funerals.
Originally posted at thomrainer.com.