[Disclaimer: I want to share this with you because I think this is a very important topic and something we should always be keeping in mind as we navigate our way through cyberspace. However, there are a few images I include in this post which are not porn or even close to it; yet I also realize these types of image can trigger some of those struggling with an addiction. If that's you, consider this before you scroll down and continue reading.]
I just got back from traveling for the holidays with my family. We headed to Portland to see family and then Seattle to see great friends. We landed back in California last night, and this morning I dropped my son off on Colorado Blvd. to meet his friends who spent the night last night to save a spot to watch the Rose Parade.
For all you non-sports fans. This year the Rose Parade was of little importance. Two teams who didn't make the playoffs competing, but when there are a huge parade and an important football bowl game a mile away I get interested a little. Nolan (my son) asked Siri, "Who won the Rose Bowl?"
Siri told him "USC did 52-49" and we both said "WHAT?!"
I tried SportsCenter to find out more, but it wasn't on so I headed upstairs and jumped on my wife's iMac and googled USC results.
I found this article on YahooSports.
It is a super fascinating story about what happened, and I was looking for a video clip of the highlights, but since it just ended minutes ago there was nothing, so I was forced to read.
As I read on YAHOO SPORTS, you know what suddenly became way more exciting than the USC game ...
SHE THOUGHT THEY WERE CHEERING BECAUSE OF HER PUTT
WHEN THE CROWD NOTICED, THEY WENT CRAZY
17 INCREDIBLE WOMEN, YOU WON'T BELIEVE EXIST
EZEKIEL ELLIOT'S GIRLFRIEND IS ACTUALLY GORGEOUS
The story about the last minute field goal was now overshadowed by these click bait articles.
If you don't understand what click bait is, just go on Facebook and look at every 3rd ad. If it has a shocking or outrageous title and sounds too good to be true or fake, it is CLICK BAIT. Just like the examples below.
I don't frequent sports news sites.
I love sports, most of them, but prefer to watch ESPN SportsCenter rather than get news online.
I'm not an idiot, though ... I know there is click bait all over the internet, I just haven't been roped in by it.
Now back to my story ...
My son was downstairs waiting to see if I had highlights while I debated whether or not to click on the hot golfer with her boobs coming out of her tank top.
Then I realized something.
Not that when I clicked I probably would not care to read the article and just be interested in the pictures. And not that when I end up on the site, they're probably are not even the same pictures as on the click bait, but rather a bunch of other ads that get shadier and shadier.
What I realized was that I was on my wife's computer, and the next time she got online and started typing in a URL into the browser, I didn't want her to see that I was reading about the hot golfer. She knows I don't follow golf and that would not be good. I stopped for a second. And for me, it then moved from being someone who's tempted to being an investigator.
My mind works differently than yours. Maybe I didn't close the door, hit the link, hit the next link and then end up locking the door to masturbate while my daughter and wife play board games and my son waits on the couch for highlights. Hold on ... that's too graphic or is it?
I kept scrolling and took screenshots. (You can see some of the less risque ones down below ... believe me; there were a few much, much worse.) Then I opened NOTES and started typing this thing because I was pretty mad.
Not at ESPN and the advertisers by the way. After all, I get it.
Clickbait has a mich higher ROI (return on investment) than normal ads. They get more money ... and at the end of the day, ESPN and other online sites don't care about their readers, they care about money. They will use whatever they can to get people to click. It's a shame, but it's reality.
No actually, I was pretty angry that most people get so upset that "guys would look at porn" ... "how can you do that to your wife?" ... "What Pigs!" ... I get it.
I am not saying it is not disrespectful nor am I justifying it, but just about everything online today is marketed for the click! Marketers (and the enemy) know how easy it is to click, and they know what they need to put in front of men to get the click.
I write this just to explain that there are times when its seems like men don't stand a chance. I talk to guys everyday online who say "I wasn't looking for it." Most men, I believe want to honor their wife. They don't want to click. In fact, I don't just believe this. My co-author and researcher of The Visual Nature of Men has backed this up with research. Watch our talk if you want below:
I have a son. I told you that. I worry about him. You ask: "Since he asked Siri on his phone who won the game, why didn't you just look at the news or article on his phone downstairs?"
My son even at 13 doesn't have Safari on his iPhone, so I had to go upstairs to access the internet.
Because if dad thought about looking at the hot golfer, Zeke's girlfriend, and 17 incredible women I didn't know existed, I know what would happen to my son if he saw those links.
I don't have four points or an action plan to do after reading this blog, and I just don't want to leave you with information.
All I can say is ... I don't think most men are pigs. I run XXXchurch.com, and those ads almost got me. Chances are they have gotten you or the ones you love and just know this; it's a harsh world online and offline.
1. Be aware.
2. Be smart with what and where you access things online.
3. Don't be stupid and hand your kid a phone with no boundaries or rules.
4. Have conversations with the men and women in your life about these things. Have an exit strategy for when you find yourself tempted. (For me I start writing a blog.)
Originally posted at xxxchurch.com