Jen Hatmaker celebrates daughter's lesbian identity: ‘I’m so glad you’re gay’

Sydney and Jen Hatmaker, 2020 |

Jen Hatmaker, the high-profile Christian author who made headlines a few years ago for embracing same-sex marriage, said she's received immensely positive feedback after last week's podcast where she publicly said she's "glad" her daughter is lesbian.

"I can't get past the hundreds of messages and notes and emails and texts y'all are sending Sydney and me after our podcast last week. We screenshot and send them to each other every day, because WE ARE SO UNDONE," Hatmaker wrote in a lengthy Facebook post on Tuesday. 

"Estranged moms asking their gay children to forgive them. Gay grandmas coming out for the first time. Siblings and aunts and kids of trans people reaching out with apologies and connection. Mamas saying they can love and affirm their young, closeted gaybies with no reservations now. LGBTQ people who finally believe Jesus loves them," she added before listing two points her daughter made in the podcast episode, titled “A Moment of Pride.”

Hatmaker introduced last week's "For the Love" podcast by saying it wasn't a coming out “announcement” for Sydney because their family has known about her sexuality for quite some time.

In the discussion, Sydney addressed her silent journey for most of her young life. She revealed that she first knew she was gay at age 12, and would have “pretend” crushes on boys growing up.

Hatmaker’s daughter disclosed that she grappled with reconciling her sexuality and her spirituality for years. She said the “nail in the coffin” happened after she googled various theological perspectives on homosexuality and saw an article that referenced her mother’s comments about “loving” the LGBT community, but not “affirming” the lifestyle.

In the interview, Hatmaker said her “greatest regret” was speaking against homosexuality. 

“I wouldn’t change one ounce of who she is. Not a molecule. Not a moment. The only thing I would change in our story, is I wish I could go back and shake myself to life sooner — well, well, well, before,” Hatmaker said.

“The truth is, every single church is just filled with gay kids and gay moms and dads and you know, it's just so irresponsible to break their hearts,” Hatmaker said, asserting that pastors should be preaching to people of all sexual orientations. 

The majority of Christian denominations worldwide adhere to the Bible's stance on homosexuality and teach that while it's a sin, believers are commanded to love the sinner. Hatmaker and Sydney argue that love without affirmation is not enough. 

The podcast with her daughter comes on the heels of the release of Hatmaker’s new book, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You. In the book, she writes that she traded evangelical theology for “the wild terrain of the wilderness.” 

“It will always be my greatest sadness that Dad and I did not do our own work earlier enough so that you felt safe and beloved in your own family … I’m so sorry,” Hatmaker publicly told her daughter in the podcast.

She concluded by saying, “I’m so glad you’re gay. I’m so glad you’re free. I’m so glad this is how you were made. I’m thrilled about your future. I already told you about the kind of wife you need to marry.”

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