Counseling saved Kirk Franklin's marriage.
Aside from prayer, the gospel music veteran's wife, Tammy Franklin, revealed just how much her marriage to the head of the Fo Yo Soul Entertainment record label has been impacted by therapy.
"I think that as a culture we kind of shy away from counseling and therapy but it's important. It says that you love each other enough, love yourself enough to get the help that you need," Tammy said on "Get Up! Mornings With Erica Campbell" last week. "And so we've done counseling; it has saved our marriage. We pray together and I'm not only his wife, but I'm his girlfriend."
Other than therapy, Tammy spoke about the importance of not forgetting that the root of their relationship stems from friendship.
"When you have a girlfriend and y'all are at odds with each other it just [doesn't] feel right, it just hurts you. But sometimes we're not like that with our spouses," Tammy said. "But if you have a friend in your spouse, then my heart aches when we get into it. I'm like, 'ok I'm ready to talk through this, let's get back.'"
The Franklins have been transparent about their union and celebrated their 21st anniversary last month. In a previous blog for Patheos, Franklin let people know that in order to have a successful marriage, divorce has to take place.
In the blog titled "The Great Divorce," the entertainer explained the importance of divorcing things in life that are holding you back from being sanctified. He recalled being a newlywed and looking at another woman while he was eating at a restaurant with his wife.
"The spirit of ADD attacked my mind, the focus of my eyes left the beautiful bride in front of me and turned to this mean horrible lady who shouldn't have worn such a sexy dress and sweet smelling perfume," Franklin wrote. "Tammy stopped talking as she noticed my attention had turned to the young lady that had passed, began to roll her neck and suck her teeth like only a sista is gifted by God to do."
Instead of causing a scene, Franklin's wife gave him an ultimatum. He recalled her speaking with "the quietness of a lamb, yet the authority of a soldier," while letting him know that she would not allow him to look at both the woman and his wife.
Franklin chose his wife, Tammy. Still, he recalls the root of the real struggle he faced years ago.
"I had old habits I developed before I understood that salvation and sanctification were two different things and took some old hurtful habits into my marriage: promiscuity, a carnal approach to putting the past behind me, childhood addictions of pornography," Franklin wrote. "Of course, my wife's shoulders were not built for my unhealthy past. I almost crushed her in the beginning of our marriage, because one woman cannot keep up the performance of several. God never intended her to."