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Would You Attend a Gay Wedding?

Same-sex Wedding Cake
A wedding cake at a reception for same sex couples is seen at The Abbey in West Hollywood, California, July 1, 2013. |

Someone asks "I have friends who are gay and planning a wedding. They know my beliefs on homosexuality — that it is not God's creative design. I'm expecting to receive a wedding invite anytime. What should I do?"

Tim writes:

These are tough questions — at first glance. What do I mean? One could agonize over such a question, but I believe the follower of Christ would recognize that he or she has one loyalty — to Jesus Christ. That means doing what the Bible says.

I could refer to that text about not being unequally yoked — meaning a believer should not marry a non-believer, but there's a more basic argument here.

A wedding is a God-ordained event. Genesis 2:21ff reads, "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."

Notice that God Himself brought the woman to the man. God is pictured as the father of the bride.

Many Christians will have differing answers to this question and various arguments. I do not believe a Christian should attend such a wedding for this basic reason ... this is not a "get-together" or a social event. God Himself is being called on to oversee this solemn event and those in attendance are "witnesses" of it.

Remember, God ordained this holy event.

That's my answer. Having said that, I am not opposed to inviting the couple to a dinner at a local restaurant sometime later where I treat them to a meal. Why? There is no theological conflict here and such a meal would provide an opportunity to enjoy the meal and conversation. This is in my thinking a way to say "I value each of you as persons and appreciate your friendship."

This keeps the doors of communication open.

There is no need to discuss why you did not attend the wedding; place the focus on the present time — a meal and fellowship. If there are pointed questions from the "couple," "why did you not attend the wedding?" deflect them with a bright smile and something like "we wanted to enjoy your presence in a smaller setting." Then move the conversation in a different direction.

You want to keep the lines of communication open while honoring Christ. It can be a fine line to walk, but it can be done — because "with God, all things are possible."

Posted with permission from

Tim Wilkins is the creator of the conference MORE THAN WORDS which focuses on walking (versus talking) people out of homosexuality. MORE THAN WORDS has been conducted across the United States among various denominations. Tim's expertise in this area of ministry stems from his own freedom from homosexuality some thirty years ago. He advocates people turn down the heat on the issue and turn up the light.

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