Reach Records founder and popular emcee, Lecrae has been candid about his constant need for restoration as he battles internal struggles that resurfaced for him in this season, which he expresses in his new single, "Deep End."
The single was released on Wednesday and details how Lecrae has felt while dealing with racial trauma in the evangelical sphere.
“The world gone mad, can't ignore this noise / Look at these people found dead in the streets I got some partners that hate the police / Me, I'm just tryna hold onto my peace 'Cause I'm liable to lose it and go get the piece, I need a reason, I need the season, Pleaded with Jesus, all of this grievin,'” He raps in the vulnerable new single.
Lecrae has been using his voice to call for an end to racial injustice since the officer-involved fatal shooting of Philando Castile. His social advocacy has since continued following the death of George Floyd, who died while in police custody.
"A couple years ago, my childhood trauma came to a head. I felt abandoned and turn my back on everything and everyone I loved, including God. He was gracious to me. I wanted a transactional escape from my pain, depression, and anxiety. God is not transactional though, He's relational,” Lecrae wrote on Twitter, announcing the new single.
"I began my journey of restoration,” He continued. “As we approach 2020 I was positive that this would be a phenomenal year, only to find myself with more problems, more issues and more unrest.”
The Texas native said 2020 has turned out to be nothing like he thought it would. Instead, it’s been a “difficult year.”
“I have found myself in immense pain over the past couple months from the effects of the pandemic to the perpetuation of injustice and racism in America,” he said.
Lecrae added: "As I navigate my struggles, I am realizing that restoration is ongoing. It's not a season, it's a lifestyle. Restoration is choosing to walk with God continually as you walk through a world with deep rooted, damaged flesh.”
He shared the photo of his new single “Deep End” and concluded by saying, “Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I’m hurt. Yes, I'm fighting for hope every day. If I'm honest, some days I'm just trying not to go off the deep end.”
In 2017, Lecrae admitted that he nearly left Christianity and even contemplated suicide after being overcome with depression. His feelings stemmed from the racism he said he battled within the evangelical church.
As he became more vocal about racial injustice, he realized that not all Christians felt the same way about it. Those feelings resurface this month after the rapper sat down with Chik-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy and Pastor Louie Giglio of Passion City Church to discuss racism.
Giglio shared the need to end injustice, but during the conversation he accidentally replaced the phrase “white privilege” with “white blessing” as he talked about the advantages he believes white people have gained from slavery.
“I have a lot of racial trauma. After spending the last few years battling racism within the evangelical church I was in a dark place. In that interview I feared going back there. I’m healing but not healed. I’m definitely protecting myself from a breakdown,” Lecrae tweeted after several people asked him why he didn't publicly call out Giglio for the words he used.
“I was grieved. As I sat there in the interview I was trying not to spazz. Only the Holy Spirit kept me from losing it again like I did four years ago. White brothers and sisters welcome to the other side. Pray, listen, learn. It’s hard out here,” he added.