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Song Describing Jesus as a 'Woody Allen Vampire' Pulled From TV

Comedian Tim Minchin upset over 'editorial' decision

Song Describing Jesus as a 'Woody Allen Vampire' Pulled From TV

A comedy song describing Jesus as part Woody Allen, part telepathic zombie vampire, was pulled from an Australian television program because one of the network's executives believed the song might offend Christians.

Tim Minchin, who wrote and performed the song on the Jonathan Ross Show, a late night talk show in the U.K. that airs in Australia, gave a loose interpretation of the story of Jesus Christ by comparing the Son of God to various pop culture symbols. In one of the song's riffs, Minchin describes Jesus as “short, Jewish, and philosophical. Often hesitant and very analytical – Praise be to Jesus. Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus!”

Later in the song, Minchin sings: “Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd, but not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood."

Minchin also sings: “Jesus' mom gave birth to him without having sex with a dude, she would never be that rude, never even been nude with a dude – breeding without the opposite gender is, commonly known as 'parthenogenesis,' other animals that don't need males, include a lot of lizards and various snails. Praise be to Jesus!”

Peter Fincham, the director of television at ITV, the network that airs the Jonathan Ross Show, told editors to cut Minchin's performance because he believed it would be offensive to Christians, according to Minchin's blog.

On the blog, Minchin wrote: “[Fincham] did this because he’s scared of the ranty, s---stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of Brits who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way.”

According to The Telegraph, an ITV spokesman said: “We often make changes to programs before transmission and on this occasion we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially.”


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