As a mother of teens, I grieve over the school shooting in Florida.
I am at a loss.
Why does this keep happening? And Jesus, don't let this be a marked generation. A generation who sets records for students killed, in the classroom.
I sent my six-year-old to the 100th day of school dressed like a 100-year-old man. He looked so young, yet so old and so blameless. And I know he has a lot to learn. I know he has a long road ahead, but I also know he knows, call on Jesus.
My children know, that they can call on Him. We don't know why or how He might answer. And yes, that is so scary. But I don't believe He doesn't answer. In spite of 17 dead beings, and 15 injuries, I still believe.
If the worst-case scenario is death, that was conquered on Calvary. Nailed to a cross for the redemption of all, I still believe. I believe that in my terror, and in my children's nightmares we can call on Him.
I wish I could say He is swift and exhaustive to answer, I cannot, but I still believe.
He is still good.
From one day to the next, lives bleed together with monotony until one day is set apart from the rest. Those days I am nearer to the cross of my Jesus. He is big enough for my "Whys?" I am not afraid to be broken and beg Him to show me a bigger plan. I implore Him to show me why we may face these dark hours.
And I will wait and believe and He is still good.
I will hope.
I will praise.
I will pray.
You cannot stop. Our schools must make big changes. If my kindergartener needs to walk through a metal detector, so be it. I pray he is safe. If my sophomore must be frisked, or is no longer allowed to carry a backpack, very well. I beg, "Jesus go with her..."
Stripped of common comforts, faced with inconvenient truths, you cannot stop them from calling on Jesus. From the silent space before a geometry exam, they will call on him. Heaven help if they are faced with a crazed gun man, prayer is still in school.
Law men may have their debates about gun laws and school safety, the rights of the people, and you can voice your opinion, but you cannot stop my babies from calling on their Jesus.
They will hope.
They will praise.
They will pray.
I cannot promise the conclusion of those prayers, but I can promise, they will rage on.
And all of those who are wounded, scared, weary, broken and grieving shall raise a voice of agreement and the vivid cry, "Amen."
Jami Amerine M.Ed. is a wife, mom, adoption-foster care advocate, author,
and blogger at sacredgroundstickyfloors.com where she writes about Jesus, life, and "home as sanctuary."