Raped, taken for abortion at 13, this pro-lifer is helping post-abortive women find grace, healing

'Permission to focus on this wound'

Breanna Choat, who underwent the abortion pill regimen at 21, completed a 25-week abortion recovery program through SFHG late last month, over a decade after her abortion.

She believes that The Redemption House will offer post-abortive women a place to feel nurtured during a time when their world seems disordered. 

Choat believes that if a resource like The Redemption House had existed 10 years ago, she would have started sharing her testimony with others much sooner.

"I would have had permission to focus on this wound, and I would have had support to walk through why it hurt so much," she told CP. "I would have been able to understand what was actually going on because I did not understand anything about what was going on during the time of my abortion."

Choat was attending a community college in Bradenton, Florida, and living with her boyfriend of almost three years when she had an abortion. Her relationship with her boyfriend at the time was tense, deteriorating due to a lack of trust stemming from his infidelities and frequent lying. 

Even though she figured they'd break up soon, the then-21-year-old remained with her boyfriend because the relationship was comfortable and familiar. Choat admitted that she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend without thinking about the possibility of becoming pregnant.

Growing up, the subject of sex was never something her family really talked about.

"I remember the moment I became pregnant; it was weird," she said. "It was right after the act. I looked at my partner at the time and I said, 'I'm pregnant.' And he's like, 'You wouldn't know that right away. There's no way.' But I just felt such a different feeling than I had ever felt before."

At first, the idea of motherhood filled Choat with excitement, but she began to feel scared as she thought of her boyfriend — a man she didn't want to be the father of her child. Choat had also moved away from home to attend college, a situation that made her feel isolated and unsupported. 

"I personally grew up in a broken home," Choat said. "So my mom and my dad were never officially together. Like, I was a one-hit wonder kind of thing. And I was scared of raising my child in that same kind of environment because that was hard for me growing up."

"My mom mostly raised me on her own while my dad was deployed out of the country in the Army," she recalled. "So that was very hard."

Uncertain about where to turn, Choat took the next step and searched for a care provider within her insurance network to confirm the pregnancy. The search directed Choat to a Planned Parenthood, where she underwent a pregnancy test that confirmed she was pregnant. 

According to Choat, the Planned Parenthood staffers made no effort to counsel her or help guide her through any alternatives to abortion. Before that day, she had never thought much about abortion, as it wasn't a topic her family ever discussed.

"[The Planned Parenthood staffers were] like, 'Oh, OK, well if you don't know what to do and you don't want this child, then don't worry about it; you can get an abortion,'" she recalled. 

Choat said Planned Parenthood employees told her that they could schedule an appointment at an abortion facility. 

When discussing the possibility of taking abortion drugs to end her pregnancy, the staffers assured her that she might feel a little "discomfort," but it wouldn't be any worse than her period. 

By the time Choat underwent the abortion pill regimen, she was five weeks into her pregnancy. At first, the young woman thought that undergoing an at-home abortion would be easy. After taking the second abortion drug, Mifepristone, Choat settled down on the couch to watch the television series "Game of Thrones" with her boyfriend. 

"I was binge-watching it at the time," she recalled. "And I'm thinking, 'This is cool. I get to take a few days off to just sit here and watch the show. And I've had periods before, so it's not going to be a big deal.'"

Things took a turn after Choat reached the "Red Wedding" episode of "Game of Thrones," an episode that garnered infamy after multiple fan-favorite characters were killed off.

Right as the show reached the scene where a pregnant woman is stabbed repeatedly in the belly, projectile vomit flew out of Choat's mouth, and the pain became so intense that she started screaming. She yelled for her boyfriend to turn off the television as she made her way to the bathroom. 

"I was in so much pain, and I just started mourning and grieving like I never have before in my life," Choat recalled. "I didn't realize why at the time, but I just kept saying out loud, 'I'm so sorry; I'm so sorry; I'll never put myself in this situation again.'"

'I murdered my baby'

Reflecting on her experience, Choat believes she felt a connection in that moment to the spirit of her baby, who she noted was trying to be born through her. At one point, Choat even saw her baby after she caught the aborted child in her hand. 

"I was just so overwhelmed with what had just happened," she said. "I just looked at the [baby] for a few very uncomfortable seconds until I put it down the toilet and flushed it. And then I sat there for the rest of the day on the toilet, just crying and wailing."

Immediately after the abortion, Choat felt depressed and "disconnected from the will to live." Her boyfriend offered no comfort during this time, she said, treating her coldly and telling her to sort through her depression alone. 

Three days after the abortion, Choat went to the grocery store to buy food for the couple's meal prep for the upcoming week. Even though she was still frail from the abortion, Choat's boyfriend refused to help carry the groceries when she asked. 

She told CP that her boyfriend hadn't wanted her to have an abortion. While his behavior wasn't entirely new, Choat said that his negative traits appeared to have been exacerbated by the abortion. 

Her boyfriend's treatment of her after the abortion was the "straw that broke the camel's back," and, one year later, the couple's relationship ended. 

For 10 years, Choat engaged in a battle inside her mind, questioning the ethics of the abortion. Within the span of that decade, Choat, who hadn't grown up in a religious household, sought God in her time of need and became a Christian. 

"It wasn't until I became a Christian that I realized, 'Oh my gosh! I murdered my baby!'" Choat told CP. "This is a sin. God intended for this baby to live, and I wrongfully and selfishly took away this life because I wasn't ready to be a parent."

In January, Choat started the abortion recovery program through SFHG, which she completed on June 24. Through SFHG's program, Choat studied Bible verses that addressed the emotions she felt after her abortion, and she connected with other women who had endured similar experiences.

Choat heard about SFHG through her current boyfriend, who works for Let Them Live, a pro-life organization that offers financial support to pregnant women considering abortion. At the time of the interview, Choat said that she has been dating her current boyfriend for about a year. 

After Choat opened up to him about the abortion, he encouraged her to seek healing. Emily Berning, a co-founder of Let Them Live who had become one of Choat's friends, connected the post-abortive woman with Dyksen.

"Immediately, I felt very welcomed. I felt like God's grace was hugging me the entire time," Choat said about her healing journey through SFHG. "Because I felt connected to these people, and I also felt like they were there for my healing."

One of the SFHG coaches who worked with Choat helped guide her through the classes, holding her accountable in a "gentle yet firm way." The constant support and encouragement she received in the program kept her motivated to finish it. 

Choat has gradually started sharing her abortion story on social media. She also does marketing on behalf of SFHG. 

While she is no longer burdened by the shame she carried for 10 years, Choat hopes that by sharing her story, she can encourage others to find the same freedom.

"I'm just absolutely amazed because I never thought that I would be brave enough to share my testimony, let alone post it on my social media," she said. 

"I have a desire to help other people, but one thing that's most important to me is that people know the abortion pill is not just a period," she added. "It is murder; it is a sin, and it does hurt the heart of God. Abortion not only hurts women, but it also hurts men as well."